Dealing with Emotional Pain

When a person undergoes a life disruption, it may not advisable to take medication that will alleviate the pain immediately. When pain is alleviated with medication, the person’s motivation to make changes is reduced. And there is a great deal to learn from the process of managing emotional pain. (Of course, there are times when medication becomes necessary, especially with the suicidal thinking that may accompany a major depression. Many other life crises can be endured better with the use of medication. This is a medical decision.) When you undergo a major life crisis, you need time to gain insight into what has gone wrong and achieve integration again. Emotional pain, while unpleasant, serves its purpose, just as physical pain does in alerting us to something that is going wrong in our bodies. It prompts us to take action.

Similarly, drugs and alcohol may help to alleviate emotional pain – but then the opportunity to learn our life lessons vanishes. Reinforcing pain chemically may allow old patterns of behavior to continue – in which case, paradoxically, the pain you are trying to escape will persist into the future. Pain spurs us to learn new ways of coping.

There are tactics that people in crisis can use to get through the crushing periods of pain that accompany a life disruption. These methods do not end the pain, which has value, but they allow us some relief for a time.

First is diversion. Sometimes we need to remove ourselves physically or mentally from our emotional pain for a while. We can take a weekend trip, read a book, watch an engrossing movie, talk to a friend, take a walk or get some other physical exercise. Diversion allows us time to heal and it may give us sufficient distance from a problem that we can come back to it again and perhaps see it in a new light.

The second tactic for dealing with emotional pain is to stay in control over those aspects of your life that you still have some ability to control. A major life disruption can leave you with the feeling that you have no control over events. However, you can use self-discipline to clean your residence, bathe, feed the dog, water your plants, and pay your bills. Stay in control of those things that you can control, and let those things which are uncontrollable run their course.

Finally, find someone who can show you empathy.

There is no better way to relieve emotional pain than to talk to a trusted friend or therapist who can say with conviction, “Yes, I understand – and I care.”

Dr. Quintal & Associates

5460 Lena Road, Suite 103

Bradenton, FL 34211

941-907-0525

Visit our website for information about Rapid Resolution Therapy, Sarasota counseling services and treatment for depression, anxiety and PTSD: www.drquintal.com

Why Doesn't Trauma Get Better Over Time?

There are three reasons why trauma doesn’t get better over time. Here’s a way we can think of it:

The first reason why trauma doesn’t get better over time is because when going through an experience that was a painful or confusing or weird or troubling or upsetting or traumatic, that experience slammed into the person’s consciousness and left its impression. Picture my hand slamming into the sand and it leaves an imprint of my hand in the sand. Kind of like the sand hasn’t yet gotten the message that my hand is no longer there. The first thing that keeps the trauma stuck is that impression. Meaning the deeper part of our mind, not our intellect, but the part of our mind that controls our automatic functions, that part of our mind has a tendency to confuse the impression left by the experience, thinking it is the experience itself. It is why somebody who was in a robbery 20 years ago begins to tell you about it and as he is talking about it he gets all emotional. Why is that happening to him? Well, what’s happening is the deeper part of his mind is confusing the impression, or the thought of the experience, thinking it is the experience itself. That is the first thing that keeps the trauma stuck.

Here is the second thing that happens: When going through disturbing events a meaning gets attached to that troubling event and if you ask a person who is troubled what happened they’ll typically tell you the meaning that their mind attached to what happened, thinking that they are telling you what happened. I’ll give you an example of somebody who came in to my office. She had left work at about 4:30 in the afternoon. She walked out to her car when two men in a truck drove up. One of them punched her in the face. They dragged her and threw her into the back of that pickup truck and raped her. This is what she said when she came in to visit me. She said ‘You know I’ll never forgive myself for that.’ And I said ‘For what?’ You might be thinking the same thing. She said ‘Well, you know, being so reckless, so careless, so stupid. I can’t believe I put myself in danger like that.’ What happened was that was the meaning that got attached to that troubling experience. And, of course, the more upsetting something was, the more distorted the meaning would be that got attached to that experience. The meaning that typically gets attached to bad experiences are something to do with ‘I was bad, I was wrong or there is something wrong with me.’

The third thing that happens once those first two pieces are slammed in place, the impression and the meaning, is that our mind will have a tendency to confuse things that are structurally similar but will confuse it as identical. Let me give you an example of that. Let’s say we have a returning Iraqi combat soldier who is walking down the street with you. You guys are engaged in a wonderful conversation. It is a beautiful, sunny day and an old pickup truck drives by and it back fires. And now our soldier is on the ground, hugging the grass, screaming. What just happened to him? We call that experience, of course, a flash back. But what happened? The deeper part of his mind confused the similar sound, but confused that sound as identical and had that guy react as if he were in war.

Those are the three things that keep the trauma stuck, and those three things have one thing in common and that is they are all based in distortion. Because, my hand print isn’t the same thing as my hand. The meaning certainly isn’t what happened. And how different is a car backfiring than machine gun bullets? So Rapid Resolution Therapy clears the impression and turns the lights on so that the deeper part of the mind gets the really good news that the troubling experience is no longer happening. As soon as that happens it no longer ever confuses things that are similar as identical. No more flashbacks.

What is Hypnosis?

Hypnosis is shrouded with mystery and misunderstanding because it is the only part of the healing profession that is also done as a stage act.  What hypnosis actually is has nothing to do with what most people think it has everything to do with.  When I have gone out and done presentations for doctors and mental health professionals, one of the things that I’ve learned is that the cup is already full with what people think hypnosis is.  And so in order for me to actually explain what it is I first need to empty out that cup.  So hypnosis has nothing to do with being ‘out of it’ or ‘under it’ or being controlled or losing control or mind control.  Hypnosis has nothing to do with being suggestible or susceptible; and really has nothing to do with relaxation or concentration, which of course, is what most people think hypnosis has everything to do with.  But what hypnosis actually is, and I am sure you out there have had this experience before.  Have you ever had the experience of yawning after somebody else yawned?  Of course, you were consciously aware of yawning but you didn’t decide to yawn on purpose, which means that the subconscious part of your mind responded to that yawn with a yawn.  That’s hypnosis.  Or let’s say you are out at a restaurant, you were connecting with a friend you hadn’t seen in a while and you guys are having a wonderful, intimate conversation.  And then all of a sudden you notice that the people who were sitting at the table across from you have left and a new couple are there.  You check your watch and you notice ‘Oh My god, what happened to the time?’  IN that profound, deep connected state – that’s hypnosis.  Hypnosis is the powerful tool that we utilize to work with the subconscious part of the mind, the feeling part of our mind, so that it’s on board with the types of changes that we are interested in having happen for you.  Because the intellectual part of our mind, up here (touch forehead) isn’t connected to this part of our mind (touch heart).  That’s why somebody can intellectually understand something yet not emotionally feel it.  We utilize hypnosis to work with that subconscious part of the mind so that it’s on board with the types of changes we’re interested in having happen for you.

Dr. Quintal & Associates

5460 Lena Road, Suite 103

Bradenton, FL 34211

941-907-0525

Visit our website for information about Rapid Resolution Therapy, Sarasota counseling services and treatment for depression, anxiety and PTSD: www.drquintal.com

The US Army Recognizes Rapid Resolution Therapy on Their Website

The U.S. Army featured a news article on the front page of their website about using Rapid Resolution Therapy to effectively treat PTSD.  Follow this link to read the article:

http://www.army.mil/-news/2010/09/01/44335-rapid-resolution-therapy/

Dr. Quintal & Associates

5460 Lena Road, Suite 103

Bradenton, FL 34211

941-907-0525

Visit our website for information about Rapid Resolution Therapy, Sarasota counseling services and treatment for depression, anxiety and PTSD: www.drquintal.com