Dealing With Emotional Pain

When a person undergoes a life disruption, it may not advisable to take medication that will alleviate the pain immediately. When pain is alleviated with medication, the person’s motivation to make changes is reduced. And there is a great deal to learn from the process of managing emotional pain. (Of course, there are times when medication becomes necessary, especially with the suicidal thinking that may accompany a major depression. Many other life crises can be endured better with the use of medication. This is a medical decision.) When you undergo a major life crisis, you need time to gain insight into what has gone wrong and achieve integration again. Emotional pain, while unpleasant, serves its purpose, just as physical pain does in alerting us to something that is going wrong in our bodies. It prompts us to take action. Similarly, drugs and alcohol may help to alleviate emotional pain – but then the opportunity to learn our life lessons vanishes. Reinforcing pain chemically may allow old patterns of behavior to continue – in which case, paradoxically, the pain you are trying to escape will persist into the future. Pain spurs us to learn new ways of coping.

There are tactics that people in crisis can use to get through the crushing periods of pain that accompany a life disruption. These methods do not end the pain, which has value, but they allow us some relief for a time.

First is diversion. Sometimes we need to remove ourselves physically or mentally from our emotional pain for a while. We can take a weekend trip, read a book, watch an engrossing movie, talk to a friend, take a walk or get some other physical exercise. Diversion allows us time to heal and it may give us sufficient distance from a problem that we can come back to it again
and perhaps see it in a new light.

The second tactic for dealing with emotional pain is to stay in control over those aspects of your life that you still have some ability to control. A major life disruption can leave you with the feeling that you have no control over events. However, you can use self discipline to clean your residence, bathe, feed the dog, water your plants, and pay your bills. Stay in control of those things that you can control, and let those things which are uncontrollable run their course.

Finally, find someone who can show you empathy. There is no better way to relieve emotional pain than to talk to a trusted friend or therapist who can say with conviction, “Yes, I understand – and I care.”

Patient Testimonial

Dr. Quintal's Rapid Resolution treatment was a life changing experience for me. The love of my life passed away suddenly and I was left with nowhere to turn. A friend of mine suggested I contact Dr. Quintal and gave me some information about him. I had already talked to numerous psychologist which up to that point had not helped, and was apprehensive about trying another, but decided to make an appointment. My feelings before the appointment were sadness, depression, anger, lonliness, heartache and the unwillingness to be able to change it.

From the moment I spoke to Dr. Quintal I knew immediately that I had made the right decision and that his rapid resolution therapy was completely different than anything I had previously tried. I felt at ease from the beginning and felt the burdens and emotions begin to lift as he spoke to me and helped me through my loss. Dr. Quintal is an amazing therapist who was able to bring me out of such a dark place that I never thought I would get out of. After speaking with Dr.
Quintal, I left his office with a smile, a senses of hope and a feeling that I had not had since before my loss. His Rapid Resolution therapy had an impact on me that I never imagined possible. I would highly recommend Dr. Quintal to anyone who is going through a hard
time and feel that they have no where to turn. I am grateful to Dr. Quintal for his ability of getting me through my loss.

Thank You!

Shelley

James Recovers from Trauma, Depression and Child Abuse After Rapid Resol...

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Dr. Quintal & Associates Partner with Manatee Glens For Rapid Resolution Therapy Research Study

Dr. Quintal & Associates, in association with the Institute for Rapid Resolution Therapy and the University of Portland, have partnered with Manatee Glens to conduct a research study to scientifically demonstrate the effectiveness of Rapid Resolution Therapy (RRT) for the treatment of trauma patients, specifically those suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The study that begins on Feb 26 and continues through May 30 will be conducted through Manatee Glens, a non-profit behavioral health hospital and outpatient practice. Participants in the research study can be anyone who has experienced trauma, big or small such as domestic violence, rape, or incest; a car accident, fire, gang fight or military combat; and/or unresolved ongoing grief. These individuals may be experiencing anger, resentment, guilt, shame, nightmares, phobias, and/or panic attacks. Registration is required with Manatee Glens. Manatee Glens screens all candidates prior to the study, where half will be placed with a RRT therapist and half will receive the traditional cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) from Manatee Glens. Participants will receive pro bono services for RRT treatment, provided by Master Certified Practitioners at Dr. Quintal & Associates’ office in Lakewood Ranch.

The goal for the study is to provide evidence-based-research of the effectiveness of RRT as a treatment modality for trauma. “Rapid Resolution Therapy quickly heals the emotional wounds that don't get better over time or through traditional talk therapy methods,” says Dr. Jason Quintal, a certified Master Practitioner in RRT. Unlike other approaches to trauma treatment which require the client to experience painful emotions while reliving the trauma, RRT clears the effects of trauma gently and painlessly.RRT is an integrative and holistic approach that completely resolves the psychological and physiological effects of trauma.

Candidates interested in applying for participation in the research study may apply in person at the Manatee Glens Walk-In Center located at 371 6th Avenue West in Bradenton or Manatee Glens Access Center at 2020 26th Avenue East in Bradenton. For more information about this study, please contact Dr. Sharon Richie-Melvan at 352-476-5599. Rapid Resolution Therapy™ was developed by Dr. Jon Connelly. You can learn more about him and RRT at www.rapidresolutiontherapy.com.

Dr. Quintal & Associates opened their Lakewood Ranch, Florida counseling center in July 2008 in the Creekwood East Professional building near the intersection of I-75 and State Road 70. The center offers customized therapy, matching patients with a therapist and program specifically tailored to ensure their success. The center uses a variety of therapeutic approaches to create a personalized counseling plan for patients based on their specific needs. For more information Dr. Quintal & Associates, please call at 941-907-0525 or visit their website at www.drquintal.com.

Founded as a nonprofit in 1955, Manatee Glens is a state-of-the-art behavioral health institute located in Bradenton, Florida. Through their private hospital and outpatient practice, they provide personalized care to local patients as well as those from across the state and around the country. Manatee Glens helps families in crisis with mental health and addiction services and supports the community through prevention and recovery. For more information about Manatee Glens, please call 941-782-4150 or visit their website at www.manateeglens.org.

Assess Your Relationship

Understanding the sources of conflict in your relationship is one step toward resolving the differences between you. When we can get the problems out in the open and talk about them objectively, we can often find the solutions. Use the list below as a starting point for shedding some light on your relationship conflicts, which may now be hidden but which, with some thought, can become known and talked about constructively.

• Look for themes in your relationship conflicts, problems that keep reappearing time and time again. Focus on identifying the underlying theme in most of your arguments. Arguments usually focus on the surface aspects of the underlying conflict. Your goal here is to define the underlying conflict.
  
  
• Have these themes appeared in your other relationships with other people – both with friends and perhaps with other partners in the past?
  
  
• Can you identify your part in contributing to these themes? Every relationship takes two people and both contribute to the difficulties. What is your part? (This may be a hard question to answer since we tend to see the problems as lying within our partner rather than within ourselves.)
  
  
• What are the positive qualities in your partner that you may have forgotten about as time has gone by? Can you begin to define your partner in those terms again?
  
  
• What are the negative qualities in your partner that cause conflicts between you? Does your partner agree that these qualities are true? Has your partner changed over time, gradually starting to agree that the negative qualities may be true? Or, conversely, does your partner insist that these negative qualities are not true?
  
  
• Do you focus mostly on these negative qualities when you think about your partner?
  
  
• Is there anything from your past – from childhood on through adulthood – which reminds you of the conflicts between you and your partner? (This may be a clue regarding your unresolved conflicts which are the source of projections.)
  
  
• Does your partner project unresolved conflicts onto you? (These are probably easier to see than your projections onto your partner.)

Dr. Quintal & Associates
5460 Lena Road, Suite 103
Bradenton, FL 34211
941-907-0525
Visit our website for information about relationship and marriage counseling : www.drquintal.com

Our Typical Reactions to Loss

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, an expert on adjusting to loss, identified five stages of adapting to loss. Not everyone goes through all stages and no two people will experience the process in exactly the same way. These stages should not be seen as sequential – that is, we don’t have to complete the first stage before we can move on to the second. Rather, we move in and out of each phase at various times during the adjustment process.

Denial – Even when a loss is expected, the first reaction is usually a sense of disbelief, shock, numbness and bewilderment. The person may experience a period of denial in which the reality of the loss is put out of mind. This reaction is not necessarily maladaptive since it provides the person some time to deal with the pain that must inevitably be faced.

Anger – If we experience loss in the form of death, it is often difficult to express anger. Who do we get angry at? If the loss involves a divorce or losing our job, expressing anger is easier since we can target our anger at an identifiable source. In any case, we often engage in self-reproach for not doing enough prior to our loss, like saying the right things, making amends, or trying harder. When we are in the anger phase, we may become irritable and quarrelsome. We may interpret signs of good will from others as rejection. Normal everyday stressors may trigger off episodes of rage.

Bargaining – This is a period of self-reflection that emerges out of the grief process. We come up with ideas that help us forestall the inevitable grieving that must follow loss. “If I do good things for people, I won’t lose anyone else to death.” “If I keep a cleaner house, my wife will come back to me.” “If I’m friendlier to people, I can get my old job back.”

Grieving – Grieving must be endured. It is our way of saying goodbye to the old so that we can open our lives to the new. Grieving involves suffering, and it may be intense. There are periods of increased energy and anxiety followed by times of sadness, lethargy, fatigue and emptiness. The person in the grieving phase may find it difficult to experience pleasure and may want to avoid other people altogether. One’s dreams may be intense during this time. Physical symptoms may accompany the grieving phase – sleep disturbance, changes in appetite, weakness, headaches, back pain, and indigestion.

Acceptance – One day you wake up and realize that life is normal again. This is not necessarily a time of happiness – but it is normal. And if the adjustment has been carried out to completion, with support and personal reflection, you can emerge a stronger, wiser and
healthier person.

Dr. Quintal & Associates
5460 Lena Road, Suite 103
Bradenton, FL 34211
941-907-0525
Visit our website for information about Rapid Resolution Therapy, Sarasota counseling services and treatment for depression, anxiety and PTSD: www.drquintal.com