Suggestions for Experiencing Grief

Grieving is a Major Process in Everyone's Life

All of us grieve in different ways, depending on the circumstances of the death, our own personal characteristics, and the meanings attached to the death by those left behind. Nonetheless, there are some specific actions that most of us can take to complete the process in a way that allows us to move on, eventually, to a whole and meaningful life again. 

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Here are some real-life concerns to keep in mind during the grief process:

Give yourself some quiet time alone. Find a good balance between being around others and giving yourself some solitude so that you can reflect on your loss and process your feelings.

Allow yourself to have some breaks from your grief. Grieving is difficult. As in any hard job you need a break from it from time to time. Go out and try to have a good time with friends. Read a good book. Lose yourself in a good movie.

If possible, avoid making long-term decisions. Times of crisis decrease our ability to make rational
decisions. Put decisions off until things have settled down to a more stable pattern.

Take care of your health.  Grief is a time of high physical risk. Even though it may be difficult, try
to get some physical exercise, even if it is only a daily walk. Maintain a nutritious diet, but don’t avoid indulging in special treats occasionally since self-nurturing is important during the process.
Above all, avoid alcohol and drugs during this time. They may provide a temporary feeling of relief, but your goal should focus on grieving productively, not avoiding it.

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Grieving is a very personal experience and one of our most painful to endure. It is also a journey into
the depths of our lives that can ultimately reveal our strength of character.

If you find that your are having trouble moving on with your life after a significant period of time, or staying positive after a losing a loved one, there are types of therapy that can help assist you with this process. Please contact Dr. Jason Quintal at 941-907-0525 or visit www.drquintal.com for an overview of treatments provided. A free phone consultation is offered. You can also follow Dr. Quintal on Twitter and Facebook.

Taking Back Your Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem and healthy assertion go hand in hand...

How you define yourself, positively or negatively, depends on the messages you’ve heard from others throughout your life. We internalize the things we’ve heard about ourselves from other people, and this becomes the basis of our self-esteem, which can be either mostly positive or mostly negative. 

If we see ourselves in a negative light, we may feel that we are not worthy of speaking up for what we want – and this can lead to nonassertion as a lifestyle, and contribute to anxiety and depression. People who work on their assertiveness skills have to look deeply within to assess their self-esteem and see what they can do to create a more positive definition of themselves. They can find things about themselves that they like. They might practice saying affirmations to themselves (affirmations are sayings such as “I like myself more and more each day”) until they become a reality and replace the old negative messages they may have heard throughout their lives. They may have conversations with people in which they talk about their positive qualities and maintain a positive tone throughout the conversation.

Turning an old legacy of negativity into a present sense of positive feelings takes some work, persistence, and motivation, but the rewards are enormous. One day you realize that you really do like yourself, you like who you are, and you are willing to let the world know this. (This does not imply that you are working toward conceit or a superior, condescending attitude – you are simply working to repair old negative messages that have held you back in the past. You are working toward balance.) Assertion requires positive self-esteem. Once you feel good about yourself, you can then go out into the world with a healthy sense of pride and assertively deal with the many experiences and people who come your way.

For more information about learning to regain your self-esteem please visit our website at DrQuintal.com. We provide counseling with a variety of Accelerated Healing Methods that offer direct solutions to your problem. Please contact us for a free phone consultation.